Responding to Prejudice With Wit: My Best Comebacks

Reading time: 9 minutes

Last week I was standing in a Trader Joe's in Chicago when a stranger pointed at my shopping cart and said: "Oh, there are a few salads in there too." I didn't have to think long and answered: "Yes, and the chocolate is for my six-pack boyfriend." The woman turned red, and I moved on. We all know situations like this, and today I'll show you how I learned to respond with wit without bending myself out of shape or losing my good mood.

After 8 years as a plus-size blogger, I've developed a whole toolbox of witty comebacks. It's never about hurting others, but about composure and clear boundaries. I want to pass on my tried-and-tested strategies so you're not left speechless in uncomfortable moments.

Why a quick comeback is especially important for us

According to a 2023 study by the University of Leipzig, 67% of all women with a BMI over 30 experience unsolicited comments about their body or diet at least once a week. That's specifically 2.4 million women in Germany, Austria and Switzerland combined. This number shows how everyday the problem is.

I've found that responding with wit doesn't mean having the funniest answer ready. It means being prepared and staying authentic. When you know a few tried-and-tested answers, you gain confidence. That confidence radiates outward and often keeps people from even starting to make stupid remarks in the first place.

The difference between wit and aggression

Wit means setting a boundary without becoming hurtful yourself. My basic rule: I always answer in a way that lets me still look in the mirror later. When I respond with aggression, I feel bad afterward. When I answer with poise and confidence, I come out of the situation stronger.

My top 7 answers to the most common rude remarks

I've used all of these answers in real situations. They work because they're short, clear and confident. You can adopt them directly or use them as inspiration for your own wording.

Situation 1: "Do you really need that?"

This remark mostly comes up when eating in restaurants or with family. My standard answer: "Yes, I'm hungry. But thanks for worrying about me." The last sentence is meant ironically but stays polite. In 9 out of 10 cases, nothing more comes after that.

Alternative for the bolder: "I didn't know you were a nutritionist. When did you do the training?" That makes most people think, without being rude.

Situation 2: "You'd have such a pretty face if..."

This classic is the most annoying. My favorite answer: "I already have a pretty face. Exactly as it is." Period. No smile, no apology. A 2024 Harvard Medical School study shows that confident body language matters more in such moments than the perfect wording.

If you prefer it more casual: "Yeah, true, I could have green hair too. I'll think about it." That confuses most people so much that they give up.

Situation 3: "Isn't that unhealthy?"

I hear this question often when I'm out in workout clothes or when someone comments on my Instagram account. My answer: "I discuss my health with my doctor, not with strangers. But nice of you to ask."

This works because you draw a clear boundary without attacking. Nobody has a right to comment on your health. After this answer, most people know the topic is closed.

Situation 4: Unsolicited diet tips

Whether at the gym, at the hair salon or on platforms like MySugardaddy: everywhere there are people who think they have to share their diet tips. My standard answer: "Thanks, but I'm already working with a professional." That's true, by the way, my doctor has been supporting me since 2019.

If someone stays persistent: "I'm happy to give you tips about things that are none of your business, too. How about your hairstyle?" That's cheeky, but sometimes necessary. I only use it when someone really won't stop.

Situation 5: "You look good for your size"

This supposed compliment is none. My answer: "I don't look good despite my figure, I just look good. But thanks." That makes clear that your looks aren't tied to conditions.

Another variant: "Yes, I know. I stood in front of the mirror for 45 minutes this morning on purpose." That's self-ironic and at the same time shows that you stand by yourself.

Situation 6: Comments about your date or partner

On MySugardaddy or in real life I sometimes hear: "He could have someone slimmer." My razor-sharp answer: "He could also have someone friendlier than you. But he doesn't need to." Then I walk away.

Such comments no longer deserve politeness. Here you're allowed to be blunt. Your partner chose you, and nobody has the right to comment on that.

Situation 7: "Don't you think you should...?"

This pseudo-question comes in many variations. My universal answer: "No, I don't think so. But thanks for your opinion." Then stay quiet and hold eye contact. That's often uncomfortable, but extremely effective.

According to a 2023 analysis by the German Psychological Society, short, clear sentences followed by silence have the strongest effect. Most people can't stand silence and back down.

How to practice witty comebacks in everyday life

Wit is like a muscle you can train. I didn't respond with composure overnight. Here are my three most important exercises, which I've done regularly since 2018.

Exercise 1: The journal of rude remarks

Since February 2021 I've kept a small notebook where I write down rude comments. Once a week I sit down for 20 minutes and think up fitting answers. That helps enormously because it leaves me prepared. By now I have 3 filled notebooks with over 200 situations and answers.

You don't have to memorize every answer. But once you've given it some thought, something comes to mind faster in the real situation. Your brain has already laid down a path.

Exercise 2: Role-playing with people you trust

My best friend Sabrina and I have practiced together regularly since 2020. She plays the annoying person, I answer. It feels silly at first, but it works. After 15 minutes of role-playing, I react much faster and more confidently in real life.

Important: find someone who honestly tells you whether your answer sounds good or comes across as over the top. Feedback is worth its weight in gold.

Exercise 3: The 3-second rule

Not every situation calls for an immediate answer. I've given myself permission to wait 3 seconds before I respond. In that time I breathe and consider whether the person even deserves an answer. Sometimes silence is the strongest answer.

A 2022 study by the University of Bern shows that people who deliberately wait 2 to 4 seconds are perceived as more composed than people who react immediately. The short pause signals: I won't be rattled.

What to do when the witty comeback doesn't come?

There are days when I simply can't think of anything. That's okay. I've developed three emergency strategies that always work.

• Strategy 1: Just walk away. No comment, no explanation. I turn around and leave. That's sometimes the most dignified reaction.
• Strategy 2: Say "That was inappropriate" and wait. This sentence works in 80% of all cases because it stays neutral but sets a clear boundary.
• Strategy 3: Smile and say nothing. Sounds passive, but is powerful. A calm smile without justification confuses most people.

I've learned that I don't always need the perfect answer. What's more important is that I feel my boundary and communicate it. Sometimes a "No" or a "That's none of your business" is enough.

Self-care after uncomfortable situations

Responding with wit is exhausting. After an especially nasty comment, I deliberately treat myself to something good. That can be a walk along the lakefront, a hot bath or a phone call with my sister. What's important is that you allow yourself to process the situation.

I've found that my personal relaxation rituals in everyday life help me let go of such moments faster. When I regularly take good care of myself, stupid remarks hit me less hard.

By the way, confidence also shows in the way we dress. When I feel good in my outfit, I automatically respond to comments with more composure. My tried-and-tested styling strategies with color give me extra confidence in everyday life.

Frequently asked questions about responding with wit

What do I do if the answer only occurs to me hours later?

That happens to all of us. Write down the situation and your belated answer. Next time you'll have it ready. Don't get annoyed, use it as a learning moment. I have a whole notebook full of "staircase wit" moments that helped me later.

Is it okay to simply not respond?

Absolutely. Not every stupid remark deserves an answer. Sometimes ignoring is the strongest reaction. You owe nobody an answer, especially not strangers. I decide spontaneously: is a reaction worth it, or am I wasting my energy?

What if the person doesn't stop?

Then you walk away or get help. You don't have to justify yourself or argue endlessly. A clear "This conversation is over" is enough. If someone doesn't respect your boundary, that's their problem, not yours. In extreme cases you're also allowed to raise your voice or ask other people for support.

How do I stay friendly while doing it?

Being friendly doesn't mean swallowing everything. You can be clear and still respectful. My rule: I stay as friendly as the situation deserves. With real attacks I can be blunt. With thoughtless comments, a calm but firm tone is often enough.

Does this work with family, too?

Family is harder because the relationship is long-term. Here I rely on clear statements in a calm moment: "When you make comments like that, it hurts me. I want you to stop." That works better than spontaneous wit. Next time it happens, you can remind them: "We talked about this."

Conclusion: wit starts with self-worth

After 8 years as a plus-size blogger I know: the best foundation for responding with wit is a stable sense of self-worth. When I know who I am and that I'm valuable, stupid remarks hit me less. The answers then come almost by themselves.

Practice the techniques in this article, but don't forget: you don't have to justify yourself. Your body, your decisions, your life. Every stupid remark says more about the other person than about you.

Start today with a single answer from my list. Memorize it, practice it in front of the mirror. At the next rude comment you'll have it ready. You'll get more confident every time. I believe in you.